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It has impacted so many people that we wanted to share it with Right Side viewers as well

Recompence

This past September, my son Peter Job would have celebrated his 25th birthday.

He may well have been a college graduate settling into a career, or a missionary on the mission field changing lives. Much had been planned and purposed for his life by his Creator. None of it came to pass.

A decision by my then-boyfriend and me, along with the hands of the doctor, assured that his life would not go according to plan. A March 1987 afternoon in a Billings, MT Planned Parenthood clinic guaranteed the end of his life, only 12 weeks in utero.

My life immediately fell apart. I suffered greatly at this decision that pro-abortion supporters call a woman’s right. Years in literal torment finally ended when God got ahold of me and granted me healing. That process was not quick. Forgiveness and salvation were given to me by my Lord the moment I sought repentance and asked Him to be the Lord of my life. But, the layers of damage from abortion are much akin to the layers of an onion, seemingly without end.

I have been blessed by a wonderful core of Christians in my life that played direct roles in bringing my healing to pass. Some did so without any knowledge of my suffering, while others could help progress the healing with that knowledge. Either way, the Lord has been faithful to bring His Perfect Grace into my life.

This year marking his 25th should-have-been year of life holds much significance for me. The Lord laid on my heart that this would be a season of recompense in my life.

rec·om·pense /ˈrekəmˌpens/

Verb – Make amends to (someone) for loss or harm suffered; compensate.

Noun – Compensation or reward given for loss or harm suffered or effort made: “substantial damages were paid in recompense.”

Yes, that is what this year holds within it. It is the year I reveal to my youngest two children the sin their mother bore as a young woman, coupled with the never-ending mercy that was offered by our Lord! This is the year I have set forth to contact ALL those who played a part in my healing, and thank them. Whether they knew my pain or not, whether they knew they were helping me or not, I shall be sharing a deep, heartfelt thank you that they played a part in saving my life and in healing me. But there is one moment, one time forthcoming on March 29th that bears the heart of “recompense.”

My dear friend Stacey Wollman shared with me once that directly across the street from the Planned Parenthood clinic where Peter died, there now sits a Pregnancy Resource Center. Oh, I even get goosebumps just typing that. Life instead of death. Blessing instead of curse. Whole instead of broken.

The sheer Hope offered by such a place is overwhelming, and to think this now sits there touches me to the core.

So last year, God placed in my heart the idea to go back to the place of death, return to where my most difficult life decision was made. I have not set foot near this place since 1987. We shall go. We shall pray. We shall sing in worship to our God. We shall offer a memorial at the place where a beating heart was stopped so long ago. And, moreover, we shall grant recompense. God placed upon my heart an amount He desired for us to give. I can tell you, the dollar amount is not important here, except to say it is sacrificial. It is not something I would normally have just sitting around. It is a “fold” amount. It is an amount in multiplicity to the amount it cost for my son’s heart to stop. His precious life was ripped from my womb for the cost of $250.00. I shall make recompense in honor of a life that should have been. And, with the promise of God upon it, in the hands of a pregnancy center, it WILL bring lives into the world. Not sure there is anything that could make the moment forthcoming more sweet, except that my mother and father have also sent a “fold” gift for this day.

May the Lord take what we offer, and do with it what I could not so many years ago: grant life.

*** Becky Soske *** is a Kindergarten teacher with a passion for children and teaching. She is a public speaker and author. She resides with her husband and three children in Wyoming.

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